


Breckenridge's Scourge

by spAceArrow



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, The Court Jester (1955)
Genre: Comedy, Female Crowley (Good Omens), Gen, Scene from a movie, Unwanted Advances, damn writers block, look at me coming out of my forced retirement.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:33:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25028542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spAceArrow/pseuds/spAceArrow
Summary: Crowley bit her lip as he made his way towards her. If she could only make his focus shift, but how?The King sat next to her and smiled gently, “Oh, my dear, you are a delicate, lovely creature.” He reached forward to caress her cheek, “Tell me, does it bother you that I may be a few years your senior?”Crowley subtly shifted away from him and his hand and put on a smile, “Oh, no, sire, not really.” An idea blossomed in her mind  and her smile shifted from uneasy to genuine, “In fact, you remind me so much of my dear and recently departed father.”
Comments: 5
Kudos: 8





	Breckenridge's Scourge

**Author's Note:**

> One of my favorite scenes from The Court Jester and when I rewatched it, I thought it could be something that totally happens with Crowley.
> 
> Just type "The Court Jester - Breckenridge's scourge" into youtube. I pretty much wrote it word for word.

Crowley sighed as she crossed her arms over her chest. Temptations were the worst type of jobs she got assigned. Most of the time she was able to be a third party, but this time the king was more focused on her rather than any other lady of the court. 

She looked to the door as it opened. Crowley internally winced at the amount of lust she could sense from the man. She couldn’t deter him from making the effort to court her and the fact that he was the king made sure that if anyone denied him, terrible things would happen. Crowley didn't want to be burned at the stake again. King Roderick was a tyrant and got what he wanted.

Crowley bit her lip as he made his way towards her. If only she could make his focus shift, but how?

The King sat next to her and smiled gently, “Oh, my dear, you are a delicate, lovely creature.” He reached forward to caress her cheek, “Tell me, does it bother you that I may be a few years your senior?”

Crowley subtly shifted away from him and his hand and put on a smile, “Oh, no, sire, not really.” An idea blossomed in her mind and her smile shifted from uneasy to genuine, “In fact, you remind me so much of my dear and recently departed father.”

She would have to lay it on a little thick since King Roderick was encased in the cloud of lust.

The king smiled at her as if it was the best compliment he had ever heard, “Oh, your father, yes. Well, was he a handsome figure of a man? Dashing, effective…” He shifted close, once again.

Crowley kept the slight distance, but knew she was coming up to the end of the seat, “Oh, yes, sire, 'til the scourge brought about his untimely end.”

“Eh, come here, my dear…” King Roderick moved, effectively trapping Crowley against the arm of the seat.

Crowley glanced around and pressed that much closer to the arm. The king hadn’t even cared what she’d said to stop his advance. “What a horrible death!” She may have said it a little loudly but now that seed of dread had made a bed in her stomach.

He leaned forward, “A little closer…”

The king wasn’t listening anymore. Crowley was almost choking on the lust. Panicking, she started saying whatever came to mind to get him to think twice, “I can see him now, writhing on the floor in agony, like so many of his brothers and cousins and uncles and aunts…”

He reached up to caress her face again, “Yes. Would you grant the king a little kiss?”

Crowley smiled and nodded, “Oh, certainly, sire, and don't worry. They say it isn't catching.” The pit in her stomach hadn’t left and she could only hope that he would notice what she said.

King Roderick grinned, “Oh, you are a little…” He paused, finally registering what she said. “-catching?”

Crowley mentally cheered as the haze finally lifted from his eyes. “Just because it runs in the family doesn't mean that everyone has it.” She leaned forward as the king sat back, away from her, “Kiss me sire!”

The man swallowed and brought his arms back, “Has it? Has what?”

Now it was fun. The lust cloud had completely disappeared and he now was retreating from his pursuit, Crowley started to move towards him, not worrying at all anymore, “Don't I please you, sire?”

The king tried to give her a reassuring smile but was too preoccupied with his own thoughts, “Oh, yes, yes, but, eh, these brothers and cousins and uncles…”

“And aunts.” Crowley followed the retreat and continued, “Let us not talk about their swollen, twisted, pain ridden bodies.” She looked back at the king and fluttered her eyelashes at him, “Hold me, take me in your arms, tell me I am yours!”

The king held his hands out as if to stop her but refrained from actually touching, “But this, this uh, writhing on the floor…” He said uneasily.

“In agony.”

“Yes, wh-what's... how does one catch this thing?” The King looked at her hands and how close she was to him.

Crowley couldn’t let up, and she didn’t want any doubt or leeway, “Oh, the touch of a hand, the brush of a lip... but let us not spoil this moment, sire! Hold me, hold me close!” She knew he wouldn’t even entertain the thought of touching her now. 

He was still a man who was terrified of pain and death. 

“What, what's this monstrous thing called?”

Oh, the fear he had for her at the moment was electrifying, “Breckenridge's scourge.”

“Who's Breckenridge?”

She couldn’t keep the smile off of her face but she was able to mask it as an enamored look, “My father.” The sudden drop of the King’s face cemented the fact that the temptation was off. He wouldn’t dream of touching her now.

The king stood up and stepped away from her, “Excuse me, dear, I'm feeling rather poorly.” 

They both looked up when the door opened. A page from the court bowed his head and addressed the king, “Sire, the ceremony is ready.”

Crowley saw the instant relief color the King’s face, “Oh, very well.” He looked to her, “Ah, I must go, now, dear, and so must- so must you. Quickly. Dear…” He made to help her from her seat but snatched his hand away as Crowley lifted hers. He started walking towards the door before turning to her, ”Don't touch anything.” With that final statement, he left.

Crowley simply grinned to herself and started to laugh. She couldn’t wait to tell Aziraphale about this one.


End file.
